Finances can be a significant source of stress – it’s not uncommon for financial issues to contribute to the breakdown of a relationship. This blog explores some steps you can take to prepare and manage your finances before and during a separation.

Separating from a partner is an emotional journey, and it’s important to acknowledge the stress that comes with it. Financial stress is often intertwined with the emotions of separation, as it can bring fears about the future and uncertainties about your financial stability.

Set aside time to consider your individual goals, understand your financial picture and potential living expenses, and decide what to do with your assets. Being clear on these aspects will help you identify financial priorities and areas for compromise.

Starting an open conversation about money can be difficult, but it’s an important aspect of separating.

Here are a few things to consider.

When you need help from financial professionals

There are a few financial experts and resources you may need during a separation.

A financial advisor can help you set your financial goals and guide you to reach them. They can also advise you on structuring your financial settlement to cover your short and long-term needs. You can book a free initial chat with an advisor in our network.

A financial coach can take more of a guiding hand during your separation, helping you understand the process, your financial literacy, your budget and the documentation you’ll need for your legal matter. You can book a free initial chat with a coach in our network.

Family law finance is available to you if you have a property division in your matter. This type of finance can help you pay upfront fees for legal and other professional advice to assist you in reaching a fair settlement. There are no ongoing payments – you settle the loan when you settle your matter. This is really helpful if you have equity in your home, but it’s tied up until you sell or settle your matter. JustFund is the family law finance provider we recommend. You can check if you’re eligible for this type of funding by filling in JustFund’s quick form.

Read on for more details on when you might speak with a financial professional and some tips for preparing your finances.

Open up about money

Money is often a sensitive topic, but discussing it openly during the separation process is essential. Always keep your spouse in the loop, and don’t make any choices about finances that impact both of you without speaking to them first. Keeping open lines of communication about money can help you understand each other’s needs and perspectives and make compromises and progress.

Develop your financial literacy

If you don’t have experience actively managing finances, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed. Reach out for help and educate yourself about managing money. A financial coach is a good place to start.

Understand your new goals and your partner’s goals 

Separation often means a shift from shared goals to individual ones. Take the time to reflect on your goals and use them as a basis for discussion with your partner. A financial planner can help you set attainable goals.

Get a clear picture of your finances

Make a list of assets and debts held in both names. Record your income streams, expenses, and liabilities. This information will be essential for splitting finances and seeking advice or legal assistance. A financial coach can help you identify where the money is in your relationship.

Choose your priorities

Separation often leads to increased living costs for both parties. This is even more challenging when the cost of living is rising. Prioritise your expenses and focus on what matters to reduce financial pressure. The MoneySmart Budget Planner is a helpful tool.

Decide how to handle assets

Asset division can be a contentious issue during separation. A financial advisor can advise you on how a different split of assets, like property, savings and superannuation, may work for you. You should seek advice from an independent family lawyer or consider using a mediator to facilitate discussions and reach an amicable agreement. You can log in to your Support Hub to see your recommended legal professionals. Take the Q&A if you don’t have a personal Support Hub yet.

Plan realistic timeframes

Asset division and the sale of assets can take time. Give yourself a realistic timeframe, so you have clarity on your needs and confidence that you can cover costs during the waiting period. Family law finance can help you cover professional fees until you reach a settlement, which takes some of the financial pressure off during this time.

Create a new financial roadmap

Fear of the unknown is a significant source of stress. Work with a knowledgeable professional to map your financial future and alleviate money-related fears. A financial advisor can help you with long-term investments and goals, and a financial coach can help if you struggle to manage bills and debt.

Addressing your financial situation early on can positively impact your mental and physical health. Seek guidance from professionals specialising in separation and divorce to help you navigate this challenging period.

By preparing your finances and engaging in open communication, you can minimise conflicts and ensure a smoother transition to your new life.

The Separation Guide aims to make separation and divorce simpler, more manageable and less stressful. To find out more about how one of our Network Members could support your separation, take our free 3-minute Q&A.

Disclaimer
The information in our resources is general only. Consider getting in touch with a professional adviser if you need support with your legal, financial or wellbeing needs.

There might be no such thing as a happy separation. But the difference between separating well and fighting things out in court can be tens of thousands of dollars, not to mention the heavy emotional toll.

We chatted with Family Lawyers Anna Cruckshank and Kate O’Grady about separating well.

Here are five of their key tips for a good separation:

1. Focus on getting the communication right

Communication is the ‘number one element that drives whether a separation is dealt with in a sensible way that gets the best outcome for the parties or whether it goes off the rails,’ says Anna.

If communication isn’t a couple’s strong point, which is often the case, a Mediator or Lawyer might suggest using a counsellor or psychologist before going any further with a separation process.

2. Keep the fight out of it

We know this can be easier said than done. Emotions often run high and hot during separation. But going into a separation with an adversarial mindset simply isn’t in anyone’s best interest, including yours. It will make reaching a separation outcome more expensive and protracted.

Often people ‘don’t have a lot of money in the pool to be arguing, and to be arguing and spending it on legal fees is not in the best interests of either of them or their family’, says Anna.

This is why all of the professionals in our network are committed to de-escalation and Court as a last resort.

3. Know that your friends and family might be escalating things (from a place of love)

While a separation is ultimately between two people, we often see it’s friends or family pushing people to fight their ex-partner, says Kate, or encouraging unrealistic expectations of what they might receive in a settlement:. ‘You know, “she cheated” or “he cheated, so you should go for everything”’.

Mediators and Lawyers play a key role here to help ‘separate people from those myths and from the external pressures…to try and get them to focus on a realistic approach to it.’

4. See Court as a last resort option

Some Lawyers will file an application for separation with the Court as the first action. The legal professionals in our network believe that every other option should be exhausted first. Once a matter is in court, a Judge’s order will define how the separation works. This takes all control away from the separating couple.

‘The Judge doesn’t know you and your family, the Judge doesn’t know the intricacies of the way that your family works, your routine, even in the way that your Lawyer does,’ says Kate. ‘Often parties end up with orders that are completely unworkable.’

When parties can come to an agreement themselves, says Anna, ‘I feel that they walk away with a bit more acceptance of the outcome.’

5. Be honest

When you’re worried about what a separation outcome might be, it can be tempting to withhold information. That will always backfire, says Kate. ‘If you try and hide assets, if you try and hide money or if you try and cover up things that have happened with the kids, it will come out eventually, and it will impact your credibility.’

It also draws the matter out, adds to the cost and ‘will create a level of mistrust that makes it hard for the other person to then engage in the negotiation’.

The Separation Guide aims to make separation and divorce simpler, more manageable and less stressful. To find out more about how one of our Network Members could support your separation, take our free 3-minute Q&A.

Disclaimer
The information in our resources is general only. Consider getting in touch with a professional adviser if you need support with your legal, financial or wellbeing needs.

Mediator and Barrister Jack Whelan spoke with The Sydney Morning Herald about the impacts the COVID-19 pandemic is having on relationships.

Statistics from our online interactive guide to separation show a 314% increase in couples thinking about separating during lockdown.

The Sydney Morning Herald reports:

The number of couples seeking separation advice has spiked as lockdown is wound back, with almost half of surveyed Australians experiencing negative change to their relationship during isolation.

Relationships Australia reported 42% of respondents to a May survey said isolation had negatively impacted their partner relationship, and a national mediation service said numbers of people thinking about separating were up more than 300%.

‘My sense is that there has been a lot of reflection and a lot of discussion during isolation,’ says Whelan on the massive spike we’re now seeing for Mediation.

Read the full article on The Sydney Morning Herald.

The Separation Guide aims to make separation and divorce simpler, more manageable and less stressful. To find out more about how one of our Network Members could support your separation, take our free 3-minute Q&A.

Disclaimer
The information in our resources is general only. Consider getting in touch with a professional adviser if you need support with your legal, financial or wellbeing needs.

It’s common for couples to want to separate in a less stressful and more cost-effective way. But many don’t know where to start or feel uncomfortable with the legal process.

That’s why we have created a service called Guided Separation.

This is where a legally-qualified Mediator helps guide a separating couple to a fair and equitable outcome.

Who is a Guided Separation best suited to?

Guided Separation is for couples who are still amicable, despite obvious disagreements.

If you and your partner are saying:

‘I just want to be treated fairly. I want my spouse to be treated fairly. But I don’t know what ‘fairness’ is.’

or

‘We don’t want to go to war and spend a fortune, but we do want what’s fair.’

then a Guided Separation could be the way to go.

This approach will work best when there is:

• sufficient goodwill between ex-partners
• open and honest sharing of all financial information
• a mutual desire to achieve a fair and equitable outcome.

Is it right for you? Our 3-minute Q&A is designed to help you decide. Or simply get in touch and we’ll chat you through your options.

Why do Guided Separations work well?

Guided Separations work well because they:

• focus on both partners getting a fair deal
• are designed to de-escalate rather than escalate
• keep costs down if couples remain amicable
• help keep you out of a Courtroom.

What is the role of a Mediator in a Guided Separation?

The Mediator is there to help facilitate difficult conversations — but you will stay in control and make all the decisions with your partner.

The Mediator can explain the process, the range of possible fair and equitable outcomes and help you negotiate an agreement.

At The Separation Guide, our Mediators are all legally qualified, meaning they can answer your questions about family law. They have also signed our Ethical Charter which means they see Court as a last resort.

So, how does Guided Separation actually work?

Here’s a quick look at the typical step-by-step process a Mediator will take.

1. Answer any questions the couple have together or individually.
2. Gather all relevant information – we ask the couple to fill out a detailed questionnaire. This can be completed either together or separately.
3. Provide a range of fair and equitable outcomes – we look at the facts of your matter and offer advice on what a fair and equitable range of outcomes could be if you did end up in Court.
4. Mediate with and between the couple to reach an agreement in the fair and equitable range on property, parenting, child support and maintenance matters.
5. Facilitate the legal instruments (Consent Orders for parenting and property plus conveyancing) you need to affirm the agreement and make it binding.

Guided Separation can be done in joint meetings or by the Mediator ‘shuttling’ between you and your partner in person or remotely.

If required and necessary, the Mediator can liaise with accountants and financial planners to help you reach the best settlement you can.

How much does Guided Separation cost?

Most of the Guides in The Separation Guide Network cap costs at $3000 per person.

Guided Separation sounds like a good option for me. What do I do next?

The best way to assess if a Guided Separation suits your needs and circumstances, complete out 3-minute Q&A, and we can connect you with a legally-qualified Mediator in our network.

I like the sound of Guided Separation, but I don’t think it will work in my situation…

There is no right or wrong way to separate.

People should aim for the least time-consuming and stressful process that can also lead to a fair and equitable outcome.

For this, some people will need Independent Legal Advice.

The Lawyers in our network are committed to transparent costs and Court as a last resort.

The Separation Guide aims to make separation and divorce simpler, more manageable and less stressful. To find out more about how one of our Network Members could support your separation, take our free 3-minute Q&A.

Disclaimer
The information in our resources is general only. Consider getting in touch with a professional adviser if you need support with your legal, financial or wellbeing needs.

The Separation Guide is experiencing a surge in demand during the Coronavirus crisis.

People are reporting to us that:

• They wish to take the time which is now available to them to make important decisions for their future;
• They need certainty regarding their future finances;
• After this crisis is over, they want to return to life with all of the details and complexity of separation and divorce sorted;
• And that having this certainty is crucial for their mental health during this period of isolation.

It’s also clear that during this time people need:

• High quality advice and guidance;
• Delivered 100 % online through video conferencing and teleconferences;
• Which is affordable;
• With payment plans that delay payment or that otherwise work for them; and
• Which helps them get through this period of isolation with some hope and some confidence.

The Separation Guide can meet these needs at this very difficult time.

That’s why we are:

• Fixing fees;
• Offering all services 100% online;
• With payment plans to help you through the crisis;
• And bundling services for fast and easy access to our network of psychologists, accountants, financial planners, Lawyers and Mediators.

The Separation Guide aims to make separation and divorce simpler, more manageable and less stressful. To find out more about how one of our Network Members could support your separation, take our free 3-minute Q&A.

Disclaimer
The information in our resources is general only. Consider getting in touch with a professional adviser if you need support with your legal, financial or wellbeing needs.