You can if the separation or divorce is amicable. The Separation Guide Q&A will help you and your partner determine some of these key factors around amicability.
And so, the important question to ask is: is this separation amicable?
Is there enough goodwill and trust so we will be honest with each other through the process? This especially applies to full disclosure of all of the assets and liabilities to be divided.
If the answer is yes then separation is simpler, less expensive and less emotionally draining.
An amicable separation takes you down a more pleasant path. No need for long expensive court battles, no need to instruct lawyers to be aggressive and demanding, less cost, less angst and easier for everyone. If you feel like you can separate on good terms then the separation becomes a guided negotiation. What we call Guided Separation™.
If the answer is ‘no’ then the animosity between the parties takes you down a different road.
Where a good faith negotiation becomes a more bitter confrontation. This tends to happen when the information is not shared or when there is bitterness in the nature of the breakup.
In separating or divorcing, there is no right or wrong path, it depends on the circumstances you are in. Sometimes there has to be a legal confrontation in order for a party to assert its legal rights – this tends to be the case where there has been a power imbalance in the relationship or where there is a lack of trust. Some separations and divorces can become like trench warfare and this can happen:
Others can be done quietly, sensibly and reasonably. The first question is to decide which category you are in.
And so, start the Q&A now to find out the best path for you.